over the rainbow

今天陪妈妈逛逛，本想到正佳游花园，岂料在Starbucks坐了半晚，看杂志。陪妈到正佳门前的泰国手工艺品展销会看看，她又买了些中看不中用的小东西，还遇到个做翻译的同乡。对着泰国人，忍不住又卖弄了两句泰文，来去还是“沙哗哩cup” 与“happy松间地”，没好意思说“农送衫”。忽然异想天开，如果在广州呆，找些翻译的兼职也非不可，可我无法忍受大城市的快节奏生活，一看那交通与人流就头晕。

后来我们去看了一部电影，金钱帝国。黄秋生的女友很美，我去这种长相甜美又白皙的肉弹充满好感，卖相真诱惑。粤语听着好亲切。直到现在，我仍没找到合适的语言频道，有时不会说白话，普通话当然也没有与贝琪一起时灵光了，英语更是疏于练习，今晚连讲个价也口吃。时差倒是完全调回来了，过了三天晚上十一点生困意早上八点自然醒的作息时间后，终于调回晚上四点睡早上十一点醒。

炎热的夏夜凌晨，实在应该来支啤酒。

i backed to my real home yesterday and transfered to my mom's city urgently. After dealing with mixed people and chores, finally I reach the destination, Guangzhou. besides, an unexpected affair is arguing with him for whether or nor leaving him alone a few days.

actually i am disappointed for his failure of every promise that he made for me. so the leaving have been chosen for my tacit irritation yet no any reaction from him so far. i sort of thought what i did is pretty naive.however, i am good.

早上他忽然说，那段在马戏团听到的开场音乐很好听。我毫无印象，然后他哼了一小段。于是我便试着找了一天，尝试找到那段只有一段主旋律的音乐。还没找到，不过应该不难，我现在有的是时间。

以前应该也有人曾为我的喜好浪费时间精力吧，不过都过去了。

被人宠爱的感觉真好。在生人面前，我只是一只惶恐警惕的猫。也没什么好怕，只是本能地抗拒人。我只想做只狗做只猫，当然是有主人照料的宠物。喜欢恋爱，又不喜欢住在一起，没有私人空间会让我缺乏自由感。我想要一间可以反锁的房子，穿得清凉在房内走来走去，而非一定得穿得整整齐齐，以防随时有人回来。

发现自己一个致命伤，太善妒。——任何人都可以变得狠毒，只要尝试过妒忌。各有前因莫羡人，我真是修行未够。所以我要对她说，you bitch suck, lol !

JK问近来有无看过电影，我才发现原来很久没有看电影，看书也不常，英文书更是不碰。我忙着想怎么穿得好看一点，怎么让房子更加实用，除了不需煮饭及不看电视，我已与主妇没差别。更惨的是，不是得宠的娇妻，而是绝望的主妇。肚子疼，在家躺了一整天，他不甚理会。想来是因为尽管我强调肚子疼，仍央求他给我买蛋糕。如同我以前对PP，无论他病成什么样，只要他肯吃，我都不怕。现我在他眼里也像PP吧，果真是一语成谶，Pipian......

贝琪送那只手镯真是越看越漂亮，它成为我为数不多的饰品之一。本人不好戴首饰，悲哀的是他也不好送首饰。某天逛街，忽地很有冲动想与他进cartier，但想着自己要来的没意思，作罢。

亦舒师太的书看得多，潜移默化地，刻意做清高之人。其实有些事真是清高不来，尤其与不那么主动的魔羯在一起。但我真的做不到，与他逛街，一路选选选，等他埋单尔后送一个响吻赞他体贴。要，当然是想要，但要开口求来的，还是免了。

look at my wrist please.

路漫漫其修远兮，吾将上下而求索。端午这天，与他聊天，忽然想起这一句，硬是想不起出自何处，原来是屈原的《离骚》。真邪门。

我已很久没像今晚这样，品一客香茗，写一篇日记，做一些习题。每天浑浑噩噩，蹉跎时间。并非天生爱学习，但若不看书做题，感觉真如行尸走肉。连现在，写的字也闷，味同嚼蜡。枉我还以为才华出众，真是贻笑大方。

心态已很平和，但总缺一点生气。没有冲劲，似难缠病人，病床前诸多不满牢骚满腹。

偶尔还是会作狂乱的梦，梦里不知身是客，醒来更惆怅。

我们常常对不起一些人，怀着歉意生活下去。知道天灾人祸不会轻易降临到他们身上，也就懒得厚着脸皮去说对不起。其实，一句道歉也只是杯水车薪，如今的云淡风清心平气静，怎能抵消当时的风起云涌心如刀割。回不去的过去，罢了。当想你的时候，在心里遥祝安好，天如人愿。你会明白的。

现在最怕看童年的照片。老得太快，我都不敢承认那个造作小女孩是我。唯一安慰是，从小都大，样子没变多少，不像有些人，儿时惊人现时惊艳，又或，儿时诱人现时吓人。不是影射。

琐事缠身，但不急，便不赶。本想旅行，但现在的天气与处境，无从选择落脚点。其实，与你一起，每天何尝不是乐事？

不是很想写博客，生活如意，慵懒如猫，依旧警觉，但，已无话可说。打算闭关一段时间，找活着的意义，找存在的价值。把偏厅执好，成为最理想的书房。偶尔积极学习，偶尔颓废度日。可以没有掌声鲜花及观众，但不可以迷失自我。总之要很用力地活着，每分钟思考。请成全我。

愤青。

已过了愤青的年纪，却仍愤青，青是尴尬。其实像我这种人，真应赶尽杀经。善妒，无聊，懒散，虚荣。

太平，我真难过。救我于苦海。他为何不？我快沉没。

两耳不问窗外事。不看浅薄人。可好，好好学习。

dance me to the end of love.这几年最沉迷的一首歌。为何如此爱，因为新鲜。

"Regrettably I Have an Eye"

If you have eyes,

you can see my huge sorrow.

shadow of the girl, dazed and painful.

If I haven't an eye,

I will ignore my existence,

and forget the faces of greedy drug-lords.

Rose has her unique Little Prince,

I have thousands and tens of thousands of addicts.

My eye watches all this with tears,

regrettably I have an eye.

"I WILL BE YOU"

When I was a child, I thought you were perfect, great and grand.

When I was a child, I thought you were a paragon, everyone obeyed you.

When I was a child, I thought you are mysterious, you always solved all problems.

I will be you, though you have many defect.

I will be you, though the world is not wonderland.

I will be you ,for I still adapt to society the same as you.

I scheduled sleep at 3:00AM, however, when the schedule time comes, I changing my mind right now. Many things I can do at midnight. Furthermore, I had a wonderful sleep from 7:00 until 9:00PM. What a crazy life.

I got a complex dream which is still had Mr.Stupid. I am confuse why he appeared in my dreams, actually he is as a bat as a pig ! I think that just occult thing and never care that.

I bought some interesting books yesterday. The most intriguing book is "KAMASUTRA". Kamasutra is more than a book about sexual positions--it is about the art of living. When I read it , my vocabulary increased quickly and  imagination developed widely. I am naughty rabbit, I believed.

English for writing especially hard to show my intelligence. I still try to write and hope to control that, yet. I have been promise by myself what is write English journal everyday. Good luck, Vivian.

I am sick and tired of doing all the review by myself. You know? I've been working nonstop for fifteen hours, I'm really bushed , I just wanna to hit the hay.  Actually, I know that truth what  is sink or swim, only one I can do is keep the ball rolling. Who don't hope the life like a bed of roses ? Unfortunately, almost all the people have to work like a dog, they are in a pickle.  Preparing an examination is a pain in the neck, final test finally makes me nuts !

sick and tired：身心疲惫

bushed：筋疲力尽

to hit the hay：瘫到床上

sink or swim：成败由己

keep the ball rolling：坚持不懈

a bed of roses：一床玫瑰（安乐窝，人间仙境）

work like a dog：像狗一样工作

in a pickle：水深火热

a pain in the neck：难以忍受的事，苦不堪言

nuts：发疯，伤心至极

每天起床首要事，一杯浓斋啡。几加几一直不在兔的咖啡名单，我恨咖啡里溶合着毫无深度的糖与奶粉（最后还是受到同学荼毒，往咖啡加伴侣与糖）。最近发现了一种又好喝又便宜的咖啡，一大罐，5块左右。特点是够香浓。若水足够80度以上，它会腾起丰盛的泡泡，口感更细腻纯滑。

我知道即溶咖啡的最佳冲法是先滚水再放粉剂，今天却做了错事。去Becky家午餐，顺便把咖啡粉放到杯子里，去她家才注入开水——泡出来的咖啡是酸的。实践出真知，兴堪至哉，下不为例。

在国内时，喜欢到咖啡厅看书写日记，这时便可以名正言顺不说话不应酬。为何不在家？房子太乱，又不想收拾。我永远不能理解把房间收拾得像示范单位的太平。

太平喜欢蓝山，我喜欢曼特宁。曼特宁更苦。偶尔若想低调地喝杯酒，可叫爱尔兰咖啡。约四分一是烈酒，喝完便飘飘然，风流不为人知。

想起某大侠送的咖啡机，感激涕零。此咖啡机陪我度过许多无所是事的时光。问题是，我连个像样的杯子都没有，精心泡出的浓咖啡，最后倒到碗里喝。据我所知，某人有套极赞的蒸馏咖啡仪器，全程手工制作——经过磨咖啡豆，燃水晶灯，等其过滤等一系列复杂工序方可喝到一杯咖啡。把时间浪漫得如此优雅，我爱。